Jan 16, 2006

Mindsfull....

Lots of things happening in a short span of time can actually leave you overwhelmed.
It’s barely a fortnight into the New Year, and I have already been a part of a lot many significant events in my life. But one common thing about all my experiences in the last couple of weeks is that I have been a passive participant, though I have had privy to the necessary details, I have never been the protagonist.
I was in touch with a close friend who suffered a tragic loss, till the moment the sad news reached him. This did have a profound effect on me, on a subconscious level as well. It set me thinking on lines that left me numb, bereft of any further thought. If that was ebb, the crest of the wave soon came to wash me over with a new kind of joy. The sound of wedding bells chimed in happiness; when I came to know that one of my close friends is gonna tie the knot. Having seen her struggle through life’s hardships, this ray of sunlight in her life also bathed me in a new found moonlight. For the first time, I could see the reflection of another person’s sorrow and joy in my moods.
The following days brought in incidents of separation. Two of my closest roomies, had to leave on assignments overseas. Though I had known about this weeks earlier, the actual impact of it sank in only when she had left.. To be precise, only when one of my other roomies was moved to tears by the separation, did I realize that I too would miss her... Her idiosyncrasies, and all the late night chats, the games of badminton in a garbage dump, roaming the streets of Bangalore… And proving time and again how gullible I am, by buying her crazy stories… I didn’t know why, but I wanted to spend as much time with her before she left.
A year in a PG accommodation, has conditioned me to get along with people coming and people going.. There were times when I grew really close to people that I would wish their trip gets cancelled cos of some last minute mishap... But this time over, I felt a new kind of reaction. I didn’t experience that excruciating pain of longing, that white angst against the cruel hand of fate.. All I felt was a need to make best of what I had - the few moments left before the flight. I knew it was a great plus to her career, and I wholeheartedly wished all the best for her. And at the airport, when she hugged me, I really felt a weird sense of completeness, an uncanny fulfillment, which said my life has been embellished by this wonderful person, and wished that the feeling was mutual.
One separation followed the other, one more person with whom I felt close, also left, though this time, I wasn’t there in station when she flew, and Heaven be praised, she is going for a shorter term.
My interaction with humanity, elsewhere, also provided me with some enlightening insights. I started seeing things in a new light, perceiving dimensions which were erstwhile invisible. People removed layers of their masks revealing hitherto unseen countenances… Some hideous, some beautiful…Leaving me with lots of thoughts to mull over…. Besides giving a reason to expect new things from the same old faces..
A multitude of emotions and a myriad of thoughts can either cause complete clamor
, or can leave one in a state of unadulterated calm. Till now, I have had the joy of experiencing the latter. Hope the Equanimity prevails.

4 comments:

R.Subramanian said...

hmmm, Good one dras... neatly written and excellently brought out the feeling of seperation...........

Nero said...

...and the rest of the year holds infinite possibilities too...

Lovely bit of prose.

Vishnu Prahalad N said...

and blogs are a nice way to pour out these feelings....
nicely expressed....

The Soliloquist said...

rsu: Thanks..
nero: Thanks.. Looking forward for the rest of the yr and the yrs to come as well..
vishnu: Ah!!..What would we be without blogs!!.. Thank God for giving us blogs..