Jan 29, 2006

Dental Drama (Trauma?!!)

Let me begin with by saying, that when I plan to fail, I really don’t fail to plan. Having led a directionless life in the double decade and odd period for which I had known Mother Earth, it so appeared to me that it was high time I took charge of things. I gave my resolve a jump-start by planning a lot many things for the 4 days long holiday that I was to spend at home. High on the itinerary was an appointment with the dentist, which had been long pending. It was a follow-up visit for the treatment necessitated by an accident coupla months back. (If anyone cares to know about the mishap, do rummage through my earlier posts, to find an account filled with all the more-than-necessary-for-the-world-to-exist details. (Frankly speaking, I myself don’t have the patience to do so... (But that’s a secret between you and me ... (mums the word! (and yes, I am back to writing within brackets))))).
Now, if you are out of the brackets finally, let me come to the point. This follow up visit turned out to be blessed with immense procreation of its own kind. The follow up visit was followed by a follow-up for the follow-up visit, and that was succeeded by its own follow-up. The crux of the issue is, that I had complained of some faint pain in one of my affected teeth, (that was just to sound serious, because I really didn’t have any big complaints to report.) which made the dentist take an X-ray and discover a crack in some bone, which had stubbornly refused to heal. This induced the proliferation follow-ups, each one being more ridiculous than the previous, the nurse forgetting to replenish the stock of some pain-alleviating drug during one of those, and making things difficult for the rest of humanity. My mother, who would be waiting outside, would give a perpetually woeful look each time, once going to the extent of forcing the Doc explain the rationale behind all the excavation work going on inside my oral cavity. It is a very funny thing, finding yourself in a hapless condition, jaw wide open, all sorts of heinous instruments flashing their malicious metallic grin, the cacophony of the drill, and you left to salivate like a dog, with a vacuum pump sucking out the fluid and leaving u, not high but dry. The pain and the ignominy reach their pinnacle, only when the Doc says: “That’s it, we just have 10 more minutes to go, its going to hurt just a little bit”.. In this respect, the Dentist resembles God, timing the hardest blow perfectly when our spirits are soaring sky high...
I still have one more follow-up to go, but that has been safely pushed into the middle of February. But till then, whether or not I like it, mush is going to be my mantra. Perhaps, not for the heart, but unavoidably for the mouth.
Something out of my 10th Standard English book just floated into my head – a poem by
Ogden Nash. I have pasted it below. In case, you liked my post so far, you might like the poem as well, for our tastes may concur. Even if you didn’t, read it anyway, for all of us have teeth, and have to visit the one-who-must-be-feared someday or the other.




***This Is Going T o Hurt Just A Little Bit***

One thing I like less than most things is sitting in a dentist chair with
my mouth wide open.

And that I will never have to do it again is a hope that I am against
hope hopen.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.
It is hard to be self-possessed
With your jaw digging into your chest.

So hard to retain your calm
When your fingernails are making serious alterations in your life line
or love line or some other important line in your palm;

So hard to give your usual effect of cheery benignity
When you know your position is one of the two or three in life
most lacking in dignity.

And your mouth is like a section of road that is being worked on.
And it is all cluttered up with stone crushers and concrete mixers and
drills and steam rollers and there isn't a nerve in your head that
you aren't being irked on.

Oh, some people are unfortunate enough to be strung up by thumbs.
And others have things done to their gums,
And your teeth are supposed to be being polished,
But you have reason to believe they are being demolished.
And the circumstance that adds most to your terror
Is that it's all done with a mirror,
Because the dentist may be a bear, or as the Romans used to say, only
they were referring to a feminine bear when they said it, an ursa,
But all the same how can you be sure when he takes his crowbar in one
hand and mirror in the other he won't get mixed up, the way you
do when you try to tie a bow tie with the aid of a mirror, and forget
that left is right and vice versa?

And then at last he says That will be all; but it isn't because he then
coats your mouth from cellar to roof
With something that I suspect is generally used to put a shine on a
horse's hoof.

And you totter to your feet and think. Well it's all over now and after
all it was only this once.
And he says come back in three monce.

And this, O Fate, is I think the most vicious circle that thou ever sentest,
That Man has to go continually to the dentist to keep his teeth in good
condition when the chief reason he wants his teeth in good condition
is so that he won't have to go to the dentist.

Written By: OGDEN NASH.

12 comments:

Rashmi said...

only a person who has undergone this trauma,like you and me, can visualize all the anguish associated with the teeth.
well, the only pro amidstall the cons has been that the dentist has been the only person in life who had advised me against shutting my mouth! :-)

Anonymous said...

Poor thing!! I know what its like...........I can only imagine what it's going to be like when the Dentist actually shakes off all pretense tells you that there's going to be Pain! I quite like the vaccum pump though...Always puts me in a philosophical mood.(Ugh!)

Vishnu Prahalad N said...

everyone seems to have a 'mouthful to say' after being at the dentists...:))

Nero said...

I got lost somewhere within those brackets. Five of them.
*sheepish grin*

The Soliloquist said...

@rashmi: same here.. only problem is my mouth is kinda small and the dentist makes me open it beyond its breaking point.. I m scared to relax it even a little, in case he messes up things for me, due to lack of room ..
@anony: the vaccum pump and philosophy?? yeah happens.. it can cause some reverberations in ur head that can work in unknown ways..:-)
@vishnu: yeah, mouthful indeed.. to think that something so hard as teeth to cause so much pain!
@nero: this is simply nothing compared to my fetish for brackets when i was in my heydays.. sob sob.. (nostalgic.. seeing brackets float everywhere)..

Anonymous said...

Ever considered writing books? If not, please do. Your posts are too long to be called blogs.

The Soliloquist said...

anony: i do something only as long as it doesnt become
an "effort" or "exertion". Writing a book, requires "effort". Besides, i need to worry about the audience.. With blogs, even if there are no comments, i can jus give a tiny sigh and close the window..
By the way, though u might be anonymous, u shld be sumun i know, cos tho my blog is public, its never really public. So, please,without further ado, reveal thyself to me :-) I cant stand mystries for long once i shed my indifference..

The Soliloquist said...

boy! guess my comments are also too long to be called comments.. Guess they should become blogs ;-)

Anonymous said...

True!! Maybe you should have a provision to get a print of you blogs, so that the reader can take copies and read them over a long train journey of somethin' like that. ;) As for your comments, you can post them as a separate post! :D

Boy, it really helps to have bloggers letting "anonymouses" posting comments. Signing in is such a pain! ;)
Turn the word verification off too! You will have a 1000 job offers within a week !! :))

Anonymous said...

And yes I am the same anonymous as the first anonymous and the second anonymous is the same anonymous as the first anonymous and this anonymous and this anonymous is the same as the second and the first anonymous and the first anonymous is me. So I am the anonymous. :D

The Soliloquist said...

@anon: u can remain anonymous as long as u want.. Duh!.. m sorry i even asked abt ur identity!!

EnGeetham aka "My Song!" said...

Funny... I had a similar experience recently, which i blogged ! :) Looks like Blogging is a Dental exercise...